Romanticising the everyday: how elegance became the path to confidence

The romanticisation of day to day activities has become a popular theme in digital culture. With social media displaying how one another choose to celebrate and experience life. From “clean my room with me” to “day in the life as a PHD student” or even wedding vlogs. We really do see it all online. As the demand for content grew creators have erupted with lavish plans romanticising any and all aspects of life.

I personally gravitate towards vlogs, where day to day life is demonstrated through a romantic and replicable lens. As someone who was painfully awkward and shy as a child and teenager, not knowing what to do with myself was my biggest insecurity. From what to do with my arms, what to say and what to do in public. All trivial obvious things that for someone who is socially anxious can be frustrating. I was not looking for tips on how to clean my room or complete food shopping. But specific examples of how to fit into and interact with those spaces.

Having day to day life be modelled for me was invaluable. As the algorithm does, content began hurling itself onto my feed. Demonstrating it is possible to live a fulfilling, graceful life. A common theme adorning the content I engaged with, elegance. Creators depicting how to walk, talk, sit and importantly what to do with my arms! Elegance became a focal point for my self transformation. With the definition being someone who is well mannered, grateful and graceful. My feed flourished with people exuding true confidence and embodying elegance. With empathy and consideration being the precursor of power and self worth. This archetype became a lens I began to truly indulge in taking in all aspects of elegance and learning how the language sounded coming from my own tongue.

I understand when we think of romanticisation we often think of heavily curated content that is unrealistic and portrays unhelpful and even harmful ideals. Equally individual takes and translations of positive psychology can walk a fine line between optimistic and out of touch. One role model I felt conveyed this gracefully was Lydia Millen, whose content covers embracing seasonal changes living an “evergreen life”. Her book Evergreen discusses living in alliance with nature and with your natural cycles that so beautifully are complemented by the seasons. Drawing attention to the potential for harmony that rests within day to day and more extravagant aspects of life. Where once the “winter blues” may have unknowingly have perforated my sense of well-being. My new outlook facilitates gratitude for the chance to slow down and tend to my personal needs. Creating and immersing myself in a personal sanctuary at home, without hesitation derived from fear of missing out.

Creators as such, have steered me to consider things from my pronunciation to posture to profession. Elegance is not confined to its physical manifestations of appearance and associated grander. But sits within our mannerisms, our ability to listen and attend to others and the consideration behind our actions. Can we navigate hardship with confidence and integrity? Do we offer eye contact and are we polite and friendly to the cashier? Do we ask how people’s days are going, do we give abundant complements? An elegant individual uplifts others, they strive for a community where people feel their strengths and attributes are valued and seen. Elegance can represent the more materialistic aspects yes, and I have happened to gravitate towards the typically associated physical expressions. In fashion, home decor, music and art. But never at the expense of loosing myself, the less “quintessential” elements of Amy still shine bright. Take my music taste for a vivid example, being largely rock or metal.

The trend introduced the idea that healthy, happy people are naturally elegant. That I don’t have to uproot myself geographically, change my career, wardrobe, or personality artificially. Instead, by prioritizing my needs and taking care of myself, elegance and grace naturally emerged. The pressure lifted as I realized my past awkwardness and lack of confidence disappeared when my needs were met. Traits I had tried to "fix" were actually the result of environments and habits that didn’t support my best self. I discovered that I could be elegant, confident, intelligent, and capable. The key was believing it was possible, seeing it in others, and trying it myself. Unlike artificial changes made to fit in, these were natural byproducts of being more conscious and embodied. Importantly I know what to do with my arms now!! Anything that feels comfortable. Sometimes looking for representation and examples of how to live and exist can be the thing we need to feel more human and less alone.

My next step to elegance rests within organising my time more effectively. To ensure that my fitness, diet and interests, like writing. Have a designated space in my rota, and are intentionally prepared for. Leaving gym clothes out the night before or booking classes so I have accountability to attend. Preserving 3 hours a week to write a blog, or meal prep. My current goal is to work on preparing myself to elegantly execute my obligations and responsibilities.

Is there a way you can bring elegance into your life? Perhaps taking a moment to pause and think before responding. Or giving yourself grace and applying a polite tone to your self discussion. Let me know what your next step is.

Love

Amy.